


I Want You, Really, I Mean Really

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Coming of Age, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Relationship Advice, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-11 10:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11146605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kai has to stop telling his best friend about his crushes because Sehun's advice is just embarrassing.





	I Want You, Really, I Mean Really

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story.
> 
> If you enjoy this, let me know!

Kai was eight the first time he told his best friend about having a crush.

"I think I like you," he admitted shyly one summer day as they sat in front of his house while sweating and sharing a Popsicle.

"Gross." Sehun's reply was short and distracted—he'd seen a grasshopper on the road and wanted to go check it out. "Cooties."

That was the first, and last, time Kai ever confessed to Sehun.

~~~

Kai was eight the year he told Sehun about his next crush, too. He'd been understandably devastated by his first rejection for about two minutes—until Sehun called him over to help catch the bug and all was forgiven.

"His name's Yixing, and he has his own Xbox," Kai shared excitedly, nudging Sehun with his elbow to make the other crash his video game car. "His mom and my mom go to the same nail place."

"Mhmm," Sehun's car took a sharp turn around a corner and ended up crashing in a cloud of smoke and flames. He tossed his controller toward the TV and flopped backward into his beanbag with a heavy sigh. "Man, I hate this game."

"Sehun." Kai really wanted his friend's input, even though at his age he wasn't sure yet what that meant exactly—he just knew that it was used by adults to make decisions and he needed to make one about Yixing.

"Huh?" His friend looked up. "Oh, right. Um, that's nice, I guess? Still though, bro," he warned, "cooties."

"Nuh-uh," Kai shook his head emphatically. "I asked my mom. She said that only girls have cooties."

Sehun looked at his best friend for a long second, then shrugged. "I guess she'd know then, huh? Ew," he dead panned soon after. "Dude. Your mom has cooties."

The two friends exchanged a disgusted look and said together, "Nasty."

~~~

Yixing didn't end up speaking any Korean, and a three year age gap was a pretty big one at Kai's age, so that crush lasted about a month. Then school started up again, Kai's mom revealed in passing that the Zhangs had moved back home to China, and Sehun got a new game on his birthday that both boys were trying their hardest to beat.

Kai didn't really have another crush after that one until he was probably eleven or so, when Sehun's cousin came to stay. Chanyeol's parents were getting a divorce and fighting over him as part of the settlement, so he'd been taken in by his extended family until the lawyers could sort things out.

Chanyeol was a little too loud, a little too tall, and a little too eager for Kai, but he was also completely different from Sehun in every way, and that alone made him exciting.

"He kissed me," Kai told Sehun as he dragged his best friend to the very spot behind his house where the monumental event had taken place. "It felt a little weird," he agreed to Sehun's skeptical expression. "And then my cheek was hot like when you walk barefoot on the sidewalk, you know?"

Sehun didn't know, actually, because Kai had always been the one with the crushes, and Sehun's maturity was only just starting to catch up. "My parents told me that I'm not allowed to kiss anyone until I'm older."

Kai looked superiorly at his friend and leaned against the tree under which Chanyeol's chapped lips had brushed his blushing cheek. "They're right," he agreed, as if the 27 day's he had on Sehun made enough of a difference in this situation. "I'm older, so I know."

In Korea, though, all people born I the same year were the same age, so Sehun was unimpressed. "Whatever," he brushed of Kai's statement, "but if being old means kissing, you can have it. I'm never turning twelve."

~~~

He did, though, and Kai, having done it first, made Sehun call him "Hyung," for the entire 27 days between their birthdays. Afterward, once the playing field was even again, Sehun jabbed that Chanyeol-hyung was lucky he was sent to his mom's because otherwise he'd have been stuck in Seoul with Kai's idiocy to deal with. Kai pouted at that but wasn't actually too upset over Chanyeol's departure—Sehun's cousin talked too much and kissed too little, and eleven-turned-twelve year old Kai was being to think that he liked kissing, a lot.

That's why his next crush was on Do Kyungsoo, the older neighbor boy he and Sehun had kind of grown up with, who was very shy and a little awkward, but had lips the shape of candy hearts that Kai knew would feel amazing if they touched his own.

"Kissing on the cheek is for babies," he informed Sehun as they waited in front of the dance studio for Sehun's dad to pick them up. "Minseok-sunbae said that he kisses his boyfriend on the mouth and that it's really nice."

The dance studio sunbae Kai mentioned was actually only sixteen, and Sehun pointed that fact out instantly.

"But then he said sucking is nice too but I didn't know what he was talking ab—oh, there's your dad!" Kai interrupted his own ramblings with a wave and a point in their ride's direction, and the subject was temporarily forgotten.

That night, though, Sehun suggested they go on a computer and look up "Why is sucking nice with your boyfriend?" So they did. After viewing the plethora of enlightening information that followed, Kai found himself wondering, "What would it feel like if Do Kyungsoo did that to me?"

Sehun scoffed and glanced sideways at his friend. He avoided Kai's eyes because he still felt slightly embarrassed over what they'd just seen—and his body's uncomfortable reaction to it—but that didn't keep him from remarking smartly, "I'm pretty sure Minseok-sunbae really enjoys it. They are boyfriend's, after all."

Kai had certainly thought Kyungsoo's lips were pretty, but his current crush hadn't gone much deeper than that. He shrugged and glanced surreptitiously at Sehun from under his eyelashes before both blushed and turned—with wide-eyes, palpitating hearts, and strangely painful crotches—back toward the computer.

~~~

That early discovery of the wonders of the Internet kept Kai's need to have a crush sated until the year he turned sixteen and started high school.

"He's so hot," Kai groaned over his lunch, pulling on Sehun's sleeve so his friend could watch with him and appreciate the glory that was Kris Wu.

"He probably even has his own Xbox," Sehun teased, reminding his best friend why his kid-self had liked Yixing.

"Shut up," Kai mumbled in embarrassment before jabbing Sehun hard in the elbow when Kris caught his gaze and gave a small wave. "Oh god," Kai was in a panic, "he waved at me. What do I do? Should I wave back? What if he wasn't waving at me? What if it was for someone else?"

"Clearly he meant that for me," Sehun joked, trying to bring his friend's stress down a level but only making things worse. When Kai nearly started hyperventilating, Sehun began apologizing profusely and rubbed Kai's back with hard, rhythmic strokes until he finally calmed down. "Dude," Sehun's voice was subdued, as if he was finally coming to a realization about something and couldn't believe how he'd missed it for so long. "You really like this guy, don't you?"

Kai nodded, blushed while taking a few more gulps of air, and returned his attention to the basketball captain without another word. It was the first time Sehun had ever seriously acknowledged one of Kai's crushes, and Kai wanted to preserve the moment for as long as he absolutely could.

This particular conversation occurred at the beginning of November, so when Kris surprised everyone by confessing to Kai a few days before Christmas holiday, Kai surprised everyone even more by saying, "No."

Sehun cornered his best friend after the incident, pinning Kai's shoulder against one of the walls in the locker room and essentially making both of them very late for gym. "I don't get it," Sehun's confusion was evident. "I thought you really liked this one."

Kai shook his head sadly and wouldn't lift his eyes to meet Sehun's own until the latter forcibly lifted Kai's chin and made him. "I did," Kai admitted quietly. "He's tall and handsome. He's athletic but not too buff, and he gets really good grades."

"Yeah, I know," Sehun muttered, well aware of what Kai had once considered the basketball captain's many qualities. "He's perfect."

"Except," Kai continued, shocking Sehun and himself when his body started trembling and he began to cry, "He's also a fan of dark corners and janitor's closets and apparently he thinks it's cool to bargain a date with a guy who really likes him for dirty talk and quick sex." Kai glanced up at Sehun through his tears and nodded, shame clouding his usually cheerful features. "I slept with him gladly because he said that afterward we could be together. But then he just left me by myself and later I heard that he had done the same thing to another guy last year and that student had been so upset that he'd ended up transferring. So then," he paused and hiccuped as his tears began to flow harder and his body's shaking increased, "when he confessed today, I just wanted to spit in his face."

Kai was sobbing so uncontrollably by that point that he could barely finish his story, but he was aware enough to clutch at Sehun's shirt so that his best friend's fisted hand would not soon collide with Kris' face.

"You should have," Sehun growled, wanting to do exactly the same thing himself. He looked down at his friend in helpless desperation, but realized that Kai just needed him to be present in that moment, so Sehun stayed exactly where he was, instead.

Two weeks of horror movies, snowball fights, and ice cream by the tub later, Kai and Sehun started back at school to the news that Kris Wu had returned suddenly to Canada and would not be back to Seoul possibly ever, but at the very least not for the remaining entirety of his high school career.

It was years before Sehun had enough courage to share that he'd told their principal about Kris pressuring other students into sexual acts. By that point, Kai was over it—he'd had better sex with better people—but he appreciated Sehun's fiercely protective actions all the same.

~~~

After the whole incident with Kris, Kai swore off boys entirely. That's not to say he went after girls instead, he just tried not to be as interested in them as he'd been previously. This resolve was fine at first—it gave time for Kai's hurt to heal and for him to start looking at the other students of his school as potential friends instead of relationships.

Sehun thought it was great because he'd always thought that Kai always seemed to take the definition of thirsty up a notch, but then he came back from summer camp at 17 with a boyfriend of his own and Kai suddenly found being single a whole lot harder. He liked Luhan well enough, and the pink-haired boy most definitely liked Sehun, but Kai thought he liked things better when crushes were theoretical and life was him and Sehun against the world.

Sehun's first relationship ended when Luhan went back to China for college, and ironically, Kai and his family followed not long after, leaving Sehun without boyfriend or best friend for his last year in high school.

"I know this totally sucks," Kai said to Sehun through the phone that had been plastered to his ear for the last half an hour. "But hey," he cheered, trying to lift the mood, "I met the cutest guy today! His name is Tao and he goes to my new school."

"Let me guess," Sehun's tone was dry and amused, but also a little sad and lonely sounding in a way that made Kai really miss him. "You think you like him a lot, right? What's this guy got going for him? Is it pretty lips again?"

"Shut up!" Kai grumbled, not for the first time in his life, all their years of friendship, or even the duration of this one phone call. He didn't like being reminded of the past fallacies of his heart, and every time Sehun brought them up Kai wondered why he ever told his best friend anything. "He's tall and does martial arts."

"So athletic?" Sehun mused, knowing that had remained Kai's type, even after Kris.

"Mhmm!" Kai's agreement was enthusiastic, but Sehun didn't manage to get many more details on this elusive new crush because Kai's mom called him down for dinner and Sehun's homework loomed horribly in its messy pile on his desk.

The next day was a pretty horrible one for Sehun, who'd stayed up until dawn finishing a paper he'd procrastinated, and nothing improved his mood until a text from Kai made him giggle hysterically when he received it in the middle of Physics.

From **Kai** : Dude

From **Kai** : He doesn't speak Korean.

From **Kai** : I only know how to say like three words in Chinese.

From **Kai** : What do I do????

From **Kai** : SEND HELP

Sehun had a difficult time reigning in his laughter as he shielded his phone from view and typed a quick reply.

From **Sehun** : Kiss him. Let your sexy lips do the talking.

From **Sehun** : Or suck his dick.

From **Kai** : DUDE

From **Sehun** : What?! Bro, that's a language all guys get, you feel me??

Hundreds of miles away, Kai sat in his own Physics class and rubbed at his forehead in sudden exhaustion as he looked down over their conversation and shook his head. His best friend might give good advice, but he was an idiot.

As it turned out, though, Sehjn's suggestion was a pretty sage one. Kai had never given a blowjob to anyone before, but Tao, at least, seemed happy enough with his efforts to willingly date Kai until they graduated. Sehun actually came to the commencement ceremony as a surprise present for his best friend and managed to catch the two of them going at it backstage while the rest of their graduating class was receiving their diplomas.

He'd cackled manically at their shocked panic, greeted Tao with interest and very poor Chinese, and hadn't let Kai live that moment down since.

~~~

Kai had been understandably sad about breaking up with Tao after an entire year together—their's had been his longest relationship, after all. But what they'd had was mostly just physical, and Kai felt more happiness over returning to Seoul and Sehun, so he managed a quick recovery by the time he and Sehun moved in as freshmen at Hongik University that fall.

A strange awkwardness had been present between the two best friend's since Kai's return, so the distraction of that helped with the Tao thing, too. Kai didn't understand what had happened, exactly, but he felt like he was definitely missing some key aspect of an important puzzle that Sehun had already seen yet didn't want to share. He didn't like the heaviness of that confusion, so Kai did what he always did: tried to find a crush.

They'd been in college a few months and he'd found a couple candidates, but it turned out to be Sehun who broke the increasing ice between them by confessing to a crush of his own.

"I think," Sehun was shy as he echoed Kai's nervous words of so many summers ago, "I like you."

Kai just sort of gaped at his best friend, leaning back a little from where they sat side by side watching MasterChef so that he could take a better look at Sehun in order to fully gauge his level of sincerity. "You know I hate it when you bring my old crushes up," he groaned finally, deciding that if he'd read the situation wrong then Sehun would correct him, and if he had read it correctly then it would suck, but at least he'd have protected his heart from rejection a second time.

"Not what I meant," Sehun mumbled, his words tumbling together as his level of timid embarrassment increased. "I like you, actually, you know, like I did for Luhan and you did for all the others." He gave Kai a heartfelt look in response to Kai's dubiously hopeful one before he continued. "Except then Lu and I broke up and you dated Tao, and I realized while you were gone that I didn't want you to have any others, I just wanted you to have me."

Sehun was blushing as he admitted that last part, but the light dusting of pink was nothing compared to the fiery red that took over the moment Kai leaned close and kissed him. Thanks to Tao's unbelievable expertise, Kai was a pretty good kisser, and he had Sehun moaning in the brief seconds before he pulled back with a satisfied smirk.

"I mean, we could have been dating since, like, forever, you know," Kai hedged as a reminder, reveling in Sehun's momentary fear of rejection as some form of payback for that first time when they were eight. He paused dramatically, then added, "But I guess being together now works too."

Sehun's relieved sigh was actually audible, and Kai, who'd never moved away from Sehun after kissing him initially, kissed his best friend again. He smiled into it when he remembered something else from that time when he'd had his first crush and pulled back, laughing when Sehun whimpered in disappointment.

"I'm sorry," Kai pretended to be forlorn, "but I don't think I can kiss you anymore."

This sent Sehun into a panic. "But we've only just started dating and you—and me—I mean—but why?"

Kai's head moved so he and Sehun were face to face and lips to waiting lips, almost as if he were ending the kissing prohibition before it even began. Sehun smirked liked he'd won something and leaned his own face forward in an attempt to meet Kai halfway. To Sehun's extreme disappointment—and Kai's great amusement—though, Sehun's newly minted boyfriend pulled back at the very last second, chortling evilly.

"Can't." Kai repeated with a mischievous grin. "Cooties."

"You said only girls had cooties!" Sehun whined.

"But you didn't!" Kai reminded him teasingly, giving Sehun one last kiss before moving away from his boyfriend and taking all chances of further kissing entirely off the table.

~~~

Kai never did confess to Sehun more than once, but he didn't consider a declaration of love to be the same thing as a simple crush. So now, to Sehun, Kai just said, "I love you." All the time.


End file.
